On Africa

I don’t know why writing is like pulling teeth for me these days.  Maybe because it used to be so free flowing.  I wonder if you can ever out-write yourself.  Or maybe I’m just a little nervous about what I have (or don’t have to say).  Either way I need to try so here it goes.  I’m so glad to be here but I can’t help but feel guilty that I’m not doing something to help others.  In a country stricken with poverty and disease, it has been difficult to realize that parts of my passion, in some ways, do a disservice to others.  I’ve always known this, but to really understand it is something different.  Yeah, I might be helping out the small business that needs to build their consumer base, but I’m not really sure what I’m doing besides helping to make money for those already comparatively well-off.  All this has me wound up in this cloud of confusion.  What if doing what I love is only benefiting me? Advertising, media, and graphics give me that buzzy feeling that can only be found in certain places.  It’s that intrinsic reaction that I have followed through life and it is this same set of feelings that has landed me here, on the other side of the globe, exposed to this reality check.  I don’t know if I would be here right now if it wasn’t for this disorganized attraction to all things visual.  A blessing in disguise I guess, that of all places in the world, I choose to come to Africa.  I knew I wanted something different but understanding life here first-hand is something else.  I’m not really sure if mixing design with helping others is possible but at least it’s got me thinking about the possibilities.  I don’t know if this is something that will pass with time, a notion that will leave as soon as I do.  Until then, I guess all I can do is keep my eyes and ears open for any hint of what to do.

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